What a night

So I'm sitting outside earlier tonight smoking a cigarette just enjoying the night before dinner. I look down and see several bumblebees flying around getting pollen from the clover plants. The grass is a little long because after work I'd much rather sit inside on a chair that doesn't bounce around. That and the boy is not quite old enough to run the mower himself. Anyway, I get transfixed by just watching them flying from plant to plant. After watching for about 10 minutes, I'm relaxed and go inside to eat dinner. As I'm eating, I realize what I have to do. Mow the grass. Have I mentioned that I hate mowing the grass? So I'm just about done mowing, and I feel a sharp pain in the inside of my leg. Like someone is taking a sewing needle and sticking me with it. I stop, pull up my shorts leg, and take a look. Nothing. Then it happens again and then again. DAMN IT!! What the fuck is sticking me? We all know that the inside of the thigh is tender. I lift my shorts leg again to take a look and still there's nothing. Damn this fucking hurts. As I drop the shorts leg I see it. Against my black shorts is something black and yellow stripped. A pissed off bumblebee. Little fucker. I'm guessing it didn't like me running it over with the mower. The little bastard stung me at least three different times. After two or three swipes to get it unlodged from my shorts it hits the ground. And from the way it was thrashing around on the ground, it wasn't happy. Needless to say, neither was I. So as it's trying to right itself getting ready to fly and attack me again, I do the only thing I could, I stomped it's little ass. I stomped it good.

Guess it wasn't happy about losing it's pollen ground. Damn I need to cut the grass more often.

What did that sticker say?

A couple weeks ago I was on the way home from work when a car passed me. There was nothing special about the car. What caught my eye though was the sticker on the back of it. The sticker read "Real Men Date Dancers". Now I gotta admit, that gave me a good chuckle. Since then I've been looking to see what type of different stickers people have. Here are just a few of the ones that I've seen.

We've all seen the ribbons for all different awarenesses, troop support, cancer support and just about every other thing that someone could think of. Then there's the stickers for University of or So and So College. Most of them in the area are for Bradley or ICC. But I have seen some for schools anywhere from Maine to Southern California. One that you really don't see much of as of late is the "My child is an Honor Student at (insert grade or middle school name here)". Which always has the responding sticker "My child beat up your honor roll student". To me, a couple of stickers that rival the "Gas, Grass or Ass nobody rides for free" are "Mean People Suck" followed up closely by "Nice People Swallow".

The other day I decided to look around on the internet just to see what other type of bumper stickers I could find for a good laugh. To my surprise, there were about a dozen websites devoted to these. Here's a few that made me laugh.








Now this last one made me laugh to the point I almost sprayed soda out of my nose. I realize that I'm gonna get a little flack about it, but I hope that they laugh a little at it.