Sunday, June 9, 2013

Been a while

Yeah. So it's been a while since I last wrote a blog post. I've been a little busy. Since I've last written I've moved, got engaged, got married, changed jobs, had a dog pass away, adopted two other dogs, and have lived an interesting life. I will try and add some more things here and there as I go. And as they used to say on The Muppet Show, On with the show.

Monday, July 14, 2008

What a night

So I'm sitting outside earlier tonight smoking a cigarette just enjoying the night before dinner. I look down and see several bumblebees flying around getting pollen from the clover plants. The grass is a little long because after work I'd much rather sit inside on a chair that doesn't bounce around. That and the boy is not quite old enough to run the mower himself. Anyway, I get transfixed by just watching them flying from plant to plant. After watching for about 10 minutes, I'm relaxed and go inside to eat dinner. As I'm eating, I realize what I have to do. Mow the grass. Have I mentioned that I hate mowing the grass? So I'm just about done mowing, and I feel a sharp pain in the inside of my leg. Like someone is taking a sewing needle and sticking me with it. I stop, pull up my shorts leg, and take a look. Nothing. Then it happens again and then again. DAMN IT!! What the fuck is sticking me? We all know that the inside of the thigh is tender. I lift my shorts leg again to take a look and still there's nothing. Damn this fucking hurts. As I drop the shorts leg I see it. Against my black shorts is something black and yellow stripped. A pissed off bumblebee. Little fucker. I'm guessing it didn't like me running it over with the mower. The little bastard stung me at least three different times. After two or three swipes to get it unlodged from my shorts it hits the ground. And from the way it was thrashing around on the ground, it wasn't happy. Needless to say, neither was I. So as it's trying to right itself getting ready to fly and attack me again, I do the only thing I could, I stomped it's little ass. I stomped it good.

Guess it wasn't happy about losing it's pollen ground. Damn I need to cut the grass more often.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

What did that sticker say?

A couple weeks ago I was on the way home from work when a car passed me. There was nothing special about the car. What caught my eye though was the sticker on the back of it. The sticker read "Real Men Date Dancers". Now I gotta admit, that gave me a good chuckle. Since then I've been looking to see what type of different stickers people have. Here are just a few of the ones that I've seen.

We've all seen the ribbons for all different awarenesses, troop support, cancer support and just about every other thing that someone could think of. Then there's the stickers for University of or So and So College. Most of them in the area are for Bradley or ICC. But I have seen some for schools anywhere from Maine to Southern California. One that you really don't see much of as of late is the "My child is an Honor Student at (insert grade or middle school name here)". Which always has the responding sticker "My child beat up your honor roll student". To me, a couple of stickers that rival the "Gas, Grass or Ass nobody rides for free" are "Mean People Suck" followed up closely by "Nice People Swallow".

The other day I decided to look around on the internet just to see what other type of bumper stickers I could find for a good laugh. To my surprise, there were about a dozen websites devoted to these. Here's a few that made me laugh.



Now this last one made me laugh to the point I almost sprayed soda out of my nose. I realize that I'm gonna get a little flack about it, but I hope that they laugh a little at it.


Friday, May 30, 2008

Damn the Rain

I'm sure just about everyone got caught in the lovely monsoon that we had this afternoon. Trying to drive through East Peoria to get home was interesting to say the least with the streets being flooded because the drainage couldn't keep up. Well I finally make it home and walk into the house. The front stairs are wet from all the driving rain and I didn't think much of it because I'm still wearing my work boots. I release the hounds from their torment of loneliness and have to drag them out into the pouring rain so they can relieve themselves. After 10 minutes of standing in the downpour, I bring them back in and dry them off. (Let me say this, Maggie HATES being dried off. She much rather shake herself dry or lay on the bed and get the bedding soaked then deal with a towel. When she sees the towel coming at her you better be ready for a tug of war match.) Today though was different. I didn't have to fight with either dog to get them dried off as much as I could.
Well a couple of hours later they needed to go outside again. I figure that it won't be that bad since the rain stopped. So I hook them both up and out the door we go. As they go trotting off to do their business, I realize that my loving girlfriend will be home soon. So as I drag them both back into the house and get them unhooked to run around, I figure I will go get the mail. Now keep in mind I'm home, alone, with just the two dogs. No other being with opposable thumbs that can dial 911 in case something were to happen. So as I step back out the door and go to head down the soaked wooden stairs, I catch the edge of the top stair with the sandals I'm wearing and slip. Usually when something like this happens to a person, it feels like it takes forever to hit the ground. Not this time. I didn't even have enough time to start saying "Oh Shit!" and I was already on the ground. So there I am sitting on the wet ground, in pain, with both dogs whining and scratching at the door freaking out because they both saw what just happened to me. After a couple of minutes of sitting there making sure I can move my arms, legs, fingers, toes as well as being able to breath without severe pain I dig the cell phone out of my pocket. Am I calling 911? Hell no! I'm not that damn smart. I send a text message to the loving girlfriend trying to find out how long before she gets home. As I pull myself to my feet(a little wobbly but not bad) my phone goes off. Ahh the girlfriend responding.(too much pain to pull the phone out of my pocket much less respond) As I stand there trying to hold myself up, here she comes. She pulls up and asks something. Honestly even now I don't remember what she asked me. I told her that I fell. This in turn gets met with "Aww poor baby fall down go boom?" Then she sees my arm. The jokes stopped after that.

Here's a picture of my arm 3 hours afterwards. (There's a bruise on my back from where I hit the bottom step, but I'm going to be nice and not subject anyone to any torture like that. Just a picture of the arm is bad enough.)


I have to say the one thing that was funny about this little slip was that when I hit the ground, my right sandal came off my foot and landed about 10 feet away from me in the middle of the yard.
Needless to say as I get ready for bed, my arm hurts like hell, my back hurts like hell, and my ego's a little sore as well. The true pisser of the entire thing is that when I finally made it safely out to the mail box, there was no mail at all. For that much pain I'd at least take a bill, late notice or something. Well there's always tomorrow.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

It's how much now?

Now I know I'm not the first, and surely wont be the last, to bitch about the cost of a gallon of gas. But over the past couple of days it seems some of the gas stations and even the cities themselves dont know what to put the cost at. On Tuesday I knew that heading into work in the morning that I needed to get gas. Everyone had raised their prices up $3.67 or higher for a gallon the night before. In my runnings I noticed that a few stations in Morton still had their prices at $3.55. Glance at the clock. 12:55. Damn. By the time I get back up here after work I'm sure that the price will go up. Well by the time the end of my work day arrives and I make it back to the gas station, the price is still $3.55. Woo hoo (yeah I know I saved 12 cents a gallon but had to drive a little out of my way to get it, but still now a days every little bit helps)
I drive thru East Peoria down by the riverfront everyday. Huck's seems to have become confused as to what they are setting the price of gas at. Yesterday they changed the price not once, or twice. But three different times within an eight hour span. And that was just what I saw. Who knows how many more times it changed. At the start of the day it started out at $3.67. Around noon I happened to look at it again and they dropped it to $3.55. Sweet the price is coming down. Later in the afternoon I glanced at it and they raised it back up to $3.66. What the fuck? Are they on crack? I thought it was just a one day thing. Nope. This morning their starting price was back at $3.67. Once again around noon the price was back at $3.55. Here we go again. I didn't even look this afternoon. Damn my head hurts. I realize that the dirty SOB's that run the country and the ones that manage the gas taxes here in the Central Illinois area have to get their cut. But for fuck sakes, pull your heads out your asses and set the damn price and leave it. The way things are going, people will have to take out a high interest loan just to buy a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread.

Something new becomes something old?

I have to say that there is something funny, sad, and just down right eerie about celebrities wanting to boost their popularity. To me there's no other way I could describe it. What am I talking about? Celebrity sex tapes. I know it sounds crazy, but if you think about it, when people that are dead that have been deceased for 30+ years and tapes are "discovered" about their sexual exploits, it seems a little strange.
Lets go back in time a little to 1988. There was a tape "leaked" to the press that a young actor named Rob Lowe video taped a sexual encounter with a young female. Now granted, she was under age and he made a HUGE mistake engaging in something like that with a minor, but did it actually hurt his career? Yes he made movies like Wayne's World, Illegally Yours, and The Finest Hour. But I guess it was his way to getting his life back on track. With the release of Tommy Boy in 1995, he has had alot of above average success over the past 20 years.
Now we'll fast forward a few years to 1994. A R&B singer by the name of R Kelly gets himself into a little trouble by marrying a 15 year old singer by the name of Aaliyah. There was, and I'm sure still is alot of scrutiny over their marriage. At the start of 1995, the marriage was annulled. Needless to say alot of singers would try their best to disappear after something like that. But not R Kelly. In 2002, there was a tape found of him with a then 14 year old girl doing things that only two adults should be doing. And I'm not talking about balancing a checkbook. To me the thing that got him in the most trouble was the fact that on part of the tape, it shows him "urinating on the young girl." After not one but two major uh-oh's, did this stop him from making music? Not even close. Not only is he still making music, but some of the albums that he has made over the past 6 years are some of the tops sellers of the year.
Now granted both of them went the entirely wrong way about getting publicity for themselves. And neither of them are out of the woods yet. Rob Lowe is now in a battle with his former nanny about sexual abuse. And R Kelly is still going thru the legal system with the 2002 incident. But alas they were still ones to start what seems to be the craze of sex tape naughtiness. Now you have anyone from Pam and Tommy, Paris Hilton, Brett Michaels, Vince Neil, Dennis Rodman, to even Joanie Laurer aka Chyna (scary) making and releasing sex tapes. Well in the last couple weeks there have been 2 more celebs that have new sex tapes out. And the names are a little startling. Marilyn Monroe and Jimi Hendrix.
A few weeks ago one radio station reported that there was a tape that was sold at an auction of Marilyn Monroe engaged in fellatio with a man. His face is claimed to be just out of the camera angle so nobody knows who he is. The tape was sold for $1.5 million to a private collector. It was once in the hands of long ago director of the FBI J. Edgar Hoover. Wonder why he had it stashed away for 40+ years.
Yesterday on the same radio station, it was reported that a new tape starring Jimi Hendrix will be for sale soon. They even have a website already up for it. I'm not going to put the link for it up, but if you search the internet for it enough you can find it. When I got home yesterday I had to take a look at the website to see if it was for real. And let me tell you, it was a little disturbing. At part of the of the preview, it shows 2 women in the middle of a sexual act and he's laying there either asleep or passed out. I'm not going to lie about it, there is a little bit of morbid curiosity in me that wants to see the tape. Don't ask as to why, but I just do.
It looks like famous people will do just about anything to keep their names in the headlines.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Are you ready for some football?

I know some of you aren't big into football, or sports in general for that matter. For me, football has always been my one TRUE addiction. I'm a die hard Steelers fan. After the Super Bowl, for me this weekend is the one thing that helps me pass the summertime; the NFL Draft. I'm not going to go thru all the picks, just my thoughts on some of the ones over the first 2 rounds from Saturday.

Round 1

Pick 1. Jake Long to Miami. Everyone knew about this Wednesday.

Pick 2. Chris Long to St. Louis. Selfishly I kinda hoped that he had dropped to Oakland simply because thats where his father had made his name (Howie Long is his dad in case anyone didn't know). But I think the Rams made a good decision.

Pick 4. Darren McFadden to Oakland. Crazy Al strikes again. Honestly I think that McFadden is over hyped. What I had seen of him in college, he didn't really look like a great running back. I think that he will fit right with last years first pick JaMarcus Russell as being over paid, under achievers. But what do I know, I drive a semi for a living.

Pick 14. Chris Williams to Chicago. From what I can tell, it's a decent pick. He is going to fill one of many holes the Bears have. Hopefully they get a QB in the second round for him to protect.(On a quick side note, while waiting for the pick, ESPN showed the key addition and key loss to the team. Key loss: Bernard Berrian. Key addition: Marty Booker. Yikes. Sorry Bears fans but yikes.)

Pick 18. Joe Flacco to Baltimore. Wow. All I had heard all week was that he was a second round pick. They gave up their 1st round, a 3rd and a 5th to move up to get him. With the rest of the trades they made during the day they have more picks in day 2 of the draft. But still, I think that they could of waited to take him.

Pick 22. Felix Jones to Dallas. I mention this pick for a couple reasons. First reason, When they went to make the announcement of the pick, all the fans in the Radio City Music Hall in NYC booed. Second reason. It's the pick right before the Steelers. I actually think that he might be a good fit for the Cowboys.
The Steelers are on the clock.

Pick 23. As I stopped what I was doing and sat there with batted breath, I looked to see what holes there were and to see who was out there. The pick is in. Rashard Mendenhall from Illinois. First thought was great. Someone to take the pressure off Willie Parker a little bit to help out in the running game. Then I started looking into how they drafted over the past 20+ years. The last time they took a running back in the first round was 1989. And from what little I can remember of him, he didn't last too long with the team.

The first round ended without much other interest for me. Other then there were no wide receivers taken at all. But looking at the ones coming out in the draft it was no real surprise.

Round 2

Pick 13. Matt Forte to Chicago. What the hell!?! Now granted they do need help at running back, a more pressing need is at quarter back. There were 2 quality guys still there waiting to be picked. But instead, they decide to go with someone who went to a school that is known more for their baseball team then their football team. Maybe he will prove everyone wrong. But I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering what the front office of the Bears are smoking.

Pick 22. Limas Sweed to Pittsburgh. Who? Huh? Is this some sort of a joke? Yes they need a wide receiver. But couldn't they have found someone else. What I saw of him, he's not that exciting of a receiver. Damnit!!!

Pick 25. Brian Brohm to Green Bay. Ummmm, quick question. Don't the Packers ALREADY have the quarterback that is taking over for the retired Farve in Aaron Rodgers? I understand getting a backup, but I would of thought that they would of filled that spot with signing one thru free agency.

Overall, the first 2 rounds of the draft were interesting to say the least. Alot of trades, alot of head scratching, and alot of cursing and muttering trying to figure out what the front offices of teams were doing.

Some thoughts on day 2 of the draft.

Bears- They have 9 total picks in rounds 3-7. Hopefully they can fill some of their glaring holes they need to fill.

Raiders- to me its always interesting to see what Crazy Al does during the draft.

NY Giants- Super Bowl Champs. With every new champ, there are players that leave for more money. Which in turn leaves open spots that need to be filled more often thru the draft then thru free agency. I wonder if they can do it.

Steelers- If they can find a good receiver offensive lineman and a defensive back they should be set when the season starts.

I'm off to watch more of the draft and to see how much more cursing I can do at the tv.